Recently, I saw a reel on Instagram that said something along the lines of:
“Hurt an artist, and you’ll see masterpieces of what you’ve done.”
Well, I don’t agree with the victim perspective of it (or the self-aggrandizing vibe), but that quote “by unknown” has a point.
So I thought back to all the creations I’ve produced over the last years.
And yep, I’d say some of my best work has been the result of some shape or form of heartache and pain.
For example, the PAINting (clue's in the name, really) “Free Spirits” I did of three horses galloping alongside each other (you can find a pic of it on Instagram), was born out of the sheer frustration over Germany’s EXCESSIVE amount of pain-in-the-bum bureaucracy, which made me feel like a trapped horse with its back against a wall.
So, after some time of crying and sobbing on the floor in desperation, I got up and was like “Okay, what would be the opposite of that feeling? Galloping freely alongside my soul sisters who share my desire for freedom!”
Et voilà, the painting was born.
It now hangs over the wooden dining table with a beautiful naturally curved edge (one of the first furniture items I bought for my new flat in Germany) in my living room, where I can look at it every day.
Another example:
When my mum died – I was in my early twenties then and lived in France – I wrote a text that described how I felt at that time. I was quite different back then, as was my writing style, but the eloquence and some of the metaphors in that text still strike and move me today.
Or when I recently fell in love with a man (let’s call him Jeff, but that’s obviously not his real name) who didn’t feel the same way, it unleashed a whole arsenal of creations: poems, paintings, and, heck, even three out of the four book ideas I recently had and that I am working on in the background at the moment were inspired by the pain of this unrequited love!
I might as well just call the books by his name and just put numbers at the end to differentiate between them...
… Jeff 1, Jeff 2, Jeff 3 …
Or take The Return of the White Animals oracle, which was born out of the collective pain that came along with the separation that the Covid area brought. (If you read the card descriptions closely, you might even be able to spot the parts that refer to that time.)
Hmm, have I ever actually created any artwork that wasn't born out of pain?
Okay, yes, some pieces I actually did create simply because I wanted to craft something beautiful – such as my animal sculptures (which I really wanna get back into doing at some point – if you have any animal suggestions, let me know).
But, overall, yep, most of my work so far has derived from painful experiences.
And I realise more and more how closely linked pain and beauty are:
Pain is the seed that birthes beauty.
Now, I am not sure if that sentence emerged from my brain all on its own or if I picked it up from one of the books I've been reading recently, which, I'm not gonna lie, is a possibility. (The other day, I had an idea for an actual book title for Jeff 3 and thought “Dang it, that's a great idea!” – until I realised it was the subtitle of a book I am reading at the moment... Good old facepalm moment right there.)
So I don’t claim creative ownership of that sentence. But regardless of who came up with it, think about this in your own life:
How sweet is it to love someone, to experience beauty, adventures and joy with them, and how much does your heart break and ache when they leave your life in some shape or form?
Pain and beauty walk hand in hand.
I kinda imagine them like two best friends – a cheerful and a moody one – strolling through life side by side. (A visual that's just come to me as I am typing this. By the way, I am typing this email extra fast after listening to a podcast episode by Ben Settle on training yourself how to write faster. It feels a bit like being back in school when you had to answer questions for a test in a certain timeframe, and time was running out. Aaaaaah… time’s a ticking, and I am digressing here!)
So, realising how closely pain and beauty are linked has helped me embrace the painful parts of life more – just like embracing the seasons of autumn and winter (instead of perpetually trying to hold on to spring and summer). Which is also a little teaser of what will be coming soon (keep your eyes peeled for Jeff 1!).
But for now, I’d like to refer you back to The Return of the White Animals oracle if you want to buy one of my creations that turned pain into beauty. While I get back to working on Jeff 2, you get your copy of the oracle here:
Love,
Katharina
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